sooo

Soon i will be getting my own computer. This is so helpful cause then all i have to do it set a password to it and i can stay signed into blogger and have a bunch of thinspo with no worries. The down side? my brothers leave to train to be an EOD......I will miss him dearly. But my brother has always been in perfect shape so next time i see him i want him to look at me and be to proud of me for being thin. Another thing? Binging is a hard habit to break you do it once and you whole life is in the crapper. Anyone got pointers on how to get out of this so i can start repairing myself for a fast that will last. Another thing is my cousin( complete bitch btw) sees me once a month every month for dinner with my grandfather. In one month i want to lose 20-25 pounds or more if i could. This can only happen with a fast. Why doing this and what dose it have to do with my cousin? Well my cousin (like me) is on the chubby side and wants to lose weight but no matter how hard she tries she cant. I was just think of how good it would feel to so called "rub it in her face" that im getting thinner and she is not. Is the mean? most likely....I'v been really mean lately.....is that bad?
But this would be pay back for all the Crap she has said and done to me that its kind of like evening everything out....

Reasons to be thin (in my mind)
-To be beautiful
-To get(hopefully) a better image about myself
-To finally get people to look at me and not see something other then a fat chick
-To sit next to someone in school and have them know who i am. Ok this happened today, the teacher was showing my paper to the call and said "This is Brittney's(my real name) paper." about 10 people in the class said flat out "Who's Brittney?" 3 of them sit next to me....i find this sad.
-maybe find someone to love?
- Make everyone see that im worth something
- To show everyone who said i cant do it or ever made fun of me for being fat that im not and they can shut their face
-Piss off my cousin and one or two other persons.
-To finally feel loved by others
- and a bunch of other i dont feel like nameing....mainly pass events and stuff.


<3 Alice (i will still be signing with alice just cause i feel like it something that become apart of me but my name is brittney and if you dont like it thats fine just call me alice.)