Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Understand that you are worthless to me now


what i ate was rather small....just not something normal to me. I Went over to a friends house so. Tomorrow it will be smaller intake.

I dont really feel like talking now. My heart has been broken to many times and i have cried to many times this month. I just feel like im better alone. Some people are completely worthless to me. They always will be

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Going numb

Today i just told the person i loved the most good bye. I no longer feel hungry or do i have cravings. All i want to do is die in a hole. I feel like a robot right now. All i want to do is sit a wait till i fall asleep. Im not really sure i can do anything right anymore. This isnt the first time this has happened. And it will hopefully be the last.

Ana take me into your sweet arms for tonight and forever will i need you the most.

<3 Alice

Friday, November 26, 2010


I ate left over pie this morning.....not so good. Fasting for the rest of the day im thinking ^_^.

Hope everyone is doing good. Sorry not much to say.

<3 Alice

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Turkey day

Just finshed eating ^_^ i ate as little as i could. AND IM STILL FULL!

I had potatos with gravy =250?? not sure but the was alittle butter that i picked around so better safe then sorry

Turkey- 25 i only had one bite of this and it was small but again better on the safe side

Stuffing- 25 again only one bite

Two small rolls with butter- i wana say 550 i mean the rools have about 120 in them and then the butter so about 440? we will say that

In all so far -740

Plus a small peace of pie-180
so 920 in all

That is alot ill have to do alittle running today and stuff .

<3 Alice

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Love the snow! so amazing!

Went out and played a little


Monday, November 22, 2010

not such a bad day

I did really well today i was happy with myself. I mean it wasnt the best but for just coming out of a bing party it was good. 600-750 calories it all.

Pretty good?

Im eating a muffin right now. I think it has been an hour from the time i took the first bite. I just dont feel all that hungry (yes i counted the muffin in the calories) but not to bad. Im going to be staying home all week tomorrow cause im sick and the rest for thanksgiving break. On thanksgiving im going to eat normal and take my time. I will take long lasting drinks and talk about before bites So it takes time and i feel full. Because there is only one food i enjoy that will be my largest one and the only one i eat.

Just eat normally talk to others and try to keep food out for as long as you can so when everyone is done and gets up to leave no one will say a thing and if someone dose say you were talking the whole time cause you were.

anyways that was random sorry

<3 Alice

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Thank you

You guys are the best i love the comments and everything. Makes me feel like someone cares. my brother is in the room so i cant say much. Just wanted to thank the people who commented. I finally feel like someone is there to listen. Better then my own friends and i hardly know everyone. So again thank you and i believe that with the help i can do this. One last time thank you!

<3 Alice

Thursday, November 18, 2010


I need to get out of this bing fest! All i do it eat eat eat eat eat! I mean i will even eat when im full i dont get it! Its so gross! Its only when i get home from school if i can just avoid that time frame then i wont bing. I was thinking of staying after school for a few weeks just to get out of the habit.

Going to maybe try a fast again just to drop alittle bit of weight before thanks giving.

Got to go

<3 Alice

Sunday, November 14, 2010

From this day on

Ana is my only friend. Ana is the only person i can trust. Ana is the only person who wont lie to me. Cause today i just found out that everyone i know dose lie to me. Not only did my own cousin take a guy that i told her i liked she DID NOT tell me about it. I had to find out from him. My own cousin! I mean i would be OK with it if she had dated him but what is making me upset about the whole thing is that so did not, not one word, tell me about it. I feel so sick. I want to purg right now so bad. Feels like i need to get everything bad out. Do you know what i mean. I dont really feel hungry right now.

I don't feel like eating anymore.
I don't feel like sleeping.
I feel like a cant trust anyone anymore i mean i thought my cousin...was...my friend my family the one person i could trust (other then ana) and she lies!

...Just going to start fasting right now...try and get some control back into my life.I feel like i have nothing. I just spent the whole day with her today. Laughing and having a good time and it did not come to her mind once to tell me!

Anyone want to chat with me email
I could really use a friend right now.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Getting back on track

So im having the hardest time getting back on track. I keep eating and eating and eating. I can fast or anything so im going to start off with a 600 cal diet salad fruit all that fun stuff. Then ever....week? im going to cut it down by 100 until i get to zero the ill fast and i found some new tips to make it seem like im eating and ways of hiding it ^_^ anyone got tips be sure to tell me.

Sunday i got lunch with some family so i will have one meal of 600 calories because normally that one meal will feel me up. Ill start off with light burning of the calories ill start off with 100 a day and every week when my intake gose down how much i burn will go up. So by the time of the fast ill be burning 600 calories. Thats got to be alot of pounds.

Ill talk with you guys later sorry everything is so short iv been really busy lately and i am still trying to post.

<3 Alice

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Feeling better

Ok im feeling well enough to run so im starting that tomorrow. Also in about a month we might get a tredmil so thats good news. I am also starting a thinspo book, just a small one for now.

Im going to only be eating 130 calories from now on as well. Im thinking one small salad in the morning and the rest will be for dinner so my mother dosnt think im fasting again. Salads (the ones i make) normally only have 50 cal at the most. So that leaves me with a few bites in front of her and the rest goes down stairs with me and into the toilet ^_^ .

Hope you all are doing well.

Wish you the best of love

Monday, November 8, 2010


I was going to go for a run in the first snow fall of the year until i got so sick i could hardly make it to my locker without passing out. so that sucks. I most likely cant even do P.E. tomorrow if it stays this bad. So for the days im to sick to move ill eat very little and take as many V-C that i can so i get better faster rest as much as i can so that way i will get better fast if i have to sleep in class to make this happen i will! I hate not being able to do anything to burn of even the little amount of calories that i plan to eat.

im going to read some of you blogs now and then head to bed and read the rest tomorrow.

<3 germy alice

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Im doing a one-two day fast just because of how much i have been eatting lately. Im going to start running after school. Even when it starts snowing ill be out there on the track running.

Im noly going to be eatting 133 calories from now on as well. If im going to have a big dinner i will save them for that dinner. Pluse that way i shouldnt over eat much if i do have to eat. When it come down to dinner ill just eat a small plat of it. Ill be running alot more to like i said after school. I was think 40 mins to an hour. Then come home and do some more work out stuff. Also going to work on my grade mostly Bio though cause i want to be a coroner. Got to work on getting my life together. Grow up a little.

Hope everyone has a lovely day

<3 Alice

Saturday, November 6, 2010


~Diet plan~

One greek yogert-130

4 jalapenos-3

One diet drink


Thats it...... jalapenos take away my hunger and the are hot so i cant have more then one at a time until my mouth cools off and it makes me not want to eat also low cal!

I will be running after school this week. Then when i get home i will do some other stuff. hope to burn about 1000 cals.

Also thank you Zette for the comment maybe i can find someone to text when the bing monster feel like coming out.

Anyone live in the U.S.? who likes me?.....or would like to talk with me


Plan to be 108 pound got to make my mother think im 120 though

<3 Alice

(can you believe i spell my name Alive every time)

Friday, November 5, 2010

The sad thing

I hate hearing how everyone has and ana buddy. How it helps them so much and keeps them on track. It makes me wish i could have a friend like that. Someone i wouldnt have to lies to. Someone i could finally get close with. Just got to suck it up and breath.

Over ate fasting tomorrow

<3 Alice

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Hello lovely

So im thinking on how to get out of some of these calories

Bk- i will eat half the toast and 2/3s of the eggs and half of the ham

lunch- I eat lunch at school and i was just going to skip it like always

snak- ill eat it plain no fruit needed

dinner- I will eat half of what is given to me:D

Think it will work? Hope so

In all its (dose math) 419 cal ^_^ MWA HAHAHAHAHHA i mean.....nvm

Then 30 mins of running i can burn about 300 cal ill do that after school

then burn another.....700 cal at home

and then on the days i have P.E. i burn another 200

so how many i burn will be about 1000-1200

Cheer lol

As for me im doing ok. Trying to think of was or reason to stay after school untill it starts to snow then im going to have to run in the snow and well i will burn more them. Also thinking of cutting all but one diet drink a week out of my diet. Pluse i found a food i can it with like 1 cal in it and it makes me feel soooooo full.

Also dose anyone have a good place for thinspos? Im running out of places and im kind of getting tired with looking at the same ones. Also I'm trying to bring up my grade so i have nothing lower then a B. Growing my hairs out really long cause its never been long a day in its like (i like to cut it). Trying to reinvent myself. You know just be a better person. Found a job i want to do it has to do with the dead so im not going to go into it cause some people dont like to hear about death. I have like.....3 guys who have a crush on me... it sucks. Oh and i kind of like a guys
he is funny, smart, not that cute but i dont go for looks(weird i know) he is a HUGE!!!! flirt and that so funny to me. Alose he is two years older then me.....ya he's not going to like a little kid hope this will fade.

Anyways sorry that its jumps and not really planned i have home work to do well it not due tomorrow but still i would like to get it done soon.

Ill try to post a better blog next time

<3 Alice


Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Face book

Add me if you want


Monday, November 1, 2010


My mother new about my fasting(the fat pig) So please email me and give me hints on how to hide cut and burn/exersize without her know i already have some ideas but i need more a bunch more



Please people im at a lost

And the end is to soon

I ate nothing much just alittle. But still food is food. All well there are no more temtations in the house and one little thing was it. So here we go again. I know i can do it this time just need to get past this third day.

For the next three days.

-NO! going upstairs
-NO! hanging out with friends
-NO! going into the feeding room at school
-No! looking at anything with food
-NO! drinks that are not water

-YES! to running every days (it makes me feel full)
-YES! to drink as much water as i want
-YES! to flirting with the hot guy who sits next to me in one of my classes (shhhh he dosnt know i like him)
-YES! to all the thinspo i can take in
-YES! to doing P.E. (i skipped today bad fat cow me)

Later i got to go family here